


Ya Done Goofed

by Average_Trash



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Humor, I hope, M/M, Marco is confused, Not really sure how to tag, Witch AU, jean goofs it, witch!jean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-19 03:09:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7342219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Average_Trash/pseuds/Average_Trash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean tries to tell Marco a secret, and it goes wrong in a way only Jean Kirstein could achieve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ya Done Goofed

**Author's Note:**

> So I found this fic I started ages ago writing and thought i'd upload it. If people seem to like it I might continue on with it, lemme know! AT xxx
> 
> Note: I haven't checked this for errors so if you spot any please tell me! :3

Jean had a problem and, being himself he did not deal with it very well. Armin had woke up that morning to discover at least 12 missed calls and numerous texts which had started arriving at 3 am, the latest only being 5 minutes old. Reluctantly, he climbed out of bed, murmuring gently to the lump beside him that was an unconscious Eren that he would be back soon. Armin quickly dressed and fired off a quick text of, "You better buy me breakfast... Meet at Maria's in ten?" He quietly shut the front door to his apartment and briskly descended the stairs to the outside world. The early morning sun was pleasant on his back as he made his way to the cafe a few blocks away. Summer had arrived in full swing and he quickly found himself shedding the light cardigan he had donned as a precaution. As the cafe came into view Armin's phone started beeping violently, with a screed of messages arriving from Jean, all which made next to no sense and only confirmed his worries that his friend had stayed up all night working himself into a panic. He sat down at their usual seat at the more secluded end of cafe Maria, and was casually perusing the various works of art that were displayed intermittently when the door opened with a violent crash and his mess of a friend stumbled in. Making his hurried apologies to the owners Jean rushed over to Armin's table and sat down with a thump. Armin studied him carefully. Jean's usually styled hair was sticking up in random clumps, suggesting that he had been running his hands through it. His clothes looked rumpled and he had somehow managed to put odd shoes on. 

"Jean, if you need someone to help you hide a body I'm sure I can help, but not before I've had a cup of tea and some form of bagel," Armin spoke slowly as his friend tried to compose himself. "And from the looks of it you need food, and a shower, and at least 8 hours sleep.... What's got into you?" 

Jean gripped the table edge and leaned in close, "How did you tell Eren?"

Armin cocked his head quizzically, "Tell Eren what?" as he motioned for the waitress to come over  
.  
"T-that you could-" Jean clammed up until the waitress left, only unfreezing to mutter something about coffee to the poor girl, who promised to be back with their order soon. "That you could do magic! How did you explain it to Eren!" Jean hissed over the table top, reaching into his hair with both hands and giving it a sharp tug. 

Armin placed a soothing hand on jeans elbow, "what this all about Jean?"

Jean sighed and slowly moved his hands from his hair down to cover his face,"M-marco... It's about Marco"

"The guy you brought to Bert's party a few months back? What about him?" Armin asked.

Jean peaked out from between his fingers,"...He doesn't know about... My Hobby..."

"A-ah..." Armin paused as the waitress returned with their order, "That is a pickle."

"No shit." Jean muttered as he took a swig of his coffee which promptly burnt his mouth and was spat out onto the table.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Later that afternoon, after a very long shower and much pacing, Jean opened the door to a rather quizzical looking Marco Bodt.

"Where's the fire?" The brunette joked, as he made his way inside Jean's cozy apartment. "Whats eating at you so much I had to miss taco night with Ymir? My sis will have your guts if it isn't good."

Jean gulped and fidgeted with the frayed edges of his jumper sleeves, until Marco took his hand and he looked up.

"Hey now, whatever it is can't be that bad?" Marco smiled and leaned in for a chaste kiss. After a moment Jean leaned back and and whispered, "It's better if...if I show you."

With Jean leading the way down the narrow hall Marco only had time to think, "Oh God, Please don't have a sex dungeon, please don't be a sex dungeon," before a door he had never noticed before was flung open and a bright light obscured his vision.

"What the heck, I didn't even know your apartment had another room!" Marco squinted as he wandered into the room. No chains or instruments of sexy torture were in sight and Marco could feel his shoulders relax. With his eyes adjusted to the brightness he could finally take in the details. The light source was the one wall taken up entirely by a large bay window, making jean's study glow in the late afternoon sunshine. Scrolls of paper full of intricate illustrations Marco's eyes couldn't follow covered the wall around a large workbench, which was laden down with even more piles of paper. Plants were festooned in every corner, with one particularly determined ivy plant creeping out over the ceiling. Sunlight glinted off the telescope positioned by the window seat, and Marco didn't even realise he was moving until he was standing over it. "  
This place is amazing Jean!" Marco looked around in astonishment. "I had no idea you were interested in astronomy! You should have said something we could have gone to see the asteroids toget- oh my god is that a geode?" Marco didn't notice Jean shuffling awkwardly as he continued examining the various trinkets litters about the study. 

After what seemed like an age, Marco slowed in his excited examination and turned to face his worried boyfriend. Jean slowly approached from the doorway, glancing here and there at his various trinkets. Gathering his resolve, Jean puffed out his chest; and whilst staring pointedly at a spot just above Marco's left ear, he launched into his speech. 

"ThisismyroomwhereIkeepallmystuffIdomagicwiththatsrightmagicisrealandIcandoitandsocanarminanderenlikestothinkhecanbutallhecandoismessaboutwithpeoplesstuffandmakeamessandbeageneralpainintheassbutANYWAYthisismymagicroomImeanthisistheroomIdomagicinwellnotreallyMAGICmagicbutmorelikepotionandcharmsandherbologyandrockologyandIdonthaveawandoracatorabroombutIhaveacauldronsomewhere-"

"Jean, stop. Breathe," Marco soothed as he gently placed his hands on the blonde's shoulder.

Jean took a deep breath and looked him in the , "I, can do magic. Like, actual magic. I am a witch."

Marco stared for a moment before puffing his cheeks out in an attempt to stop a snort. It didn't work. "And here I thought you were gonna lure me into your secret BDSM bunker but instead your telling me you went to Hogwarts!? Oh my gosh I bet you were in Slytherine, the quiz put you in Slytherine, right?" 

"I'm being serious here Marco!" Jean huffed, pushing the laughing boy's hand from his shoulders. "Please..."

Marco's laughter slowed to a halt when he saw just how upset Jean was with his reaction. Pausing to compose himself, he looked Jean in the eye as he spoke, "Jean, I like you, and we've been dating for a few months now, but you can't honestly expect me to believe that you do magic. I mean, If your interested in medicinal plants and meditation and horoscopes then good for you, I can get behind that; but honest to god magic? It just doesn't exist..." He smiled sympathetically, he knew what it was like to get caught up in a fantasy, but never one this... intense. 

Jean's dismay turned to determination, "Look! I'll prove to you that magic exists! He exclaimed as he rushed towards his workbench, flinging open the cupboards to reveal rows upon rows of labelled jars. "If I just take these ingredients..." He muttered to himself as he haphazardly flung pinches of powders and herbs into a small clay bowl, "I can give you you're proof!" 

Marco stared as the blonde frantically ground up the contents of the bowl and added a mysterious amber liquid to it from a square bottle. A strong smell permeated the room as Jean watered down the thick concoction into a more drinkable state. 

"HERE! This is your proof! Drink it!" Jean grinned, the bags under his eyes all the more prominent with the twitching of his cheek muscles.

Marco Blanched as he took one look at the container Jean was holding out to him, "Listen Jean, I know I said I don't believe in magic but that's no reason to go putting random substances into your body. Why don't we go grab a coffee and talk about this?" He reasoned, his mind flitting from wanting to get the hell out of this room, and getting the bowl out of Jean's hands. Oh God, I'm dating a lunatic, he thought to himself, a cute-ass lunatic.

"No no Marco I swear, just let me show you this, it's nothing dangerous it's a charm that'll turn your hair pink and then in a few hours it'll work its way out your system and your hair will return back to normal! I used to make this all the time back when I was going through my punk phase. I could make this with my eyes shut!" Jean grinned cockily as he raised the bowl to his lips, "If you won't drink it then I will, bottoms up!" 

"Jean wait!" Marco cried, surging forward, but he had already drained the contents of the bowl, 

Jean couldn't stifle a giggle as he watched Marcos eyes grow to the size of dinner plates. The tingling in his scalp told him that his charm had started to take effect and he lent smugly against the table while his boyfriend stumbled forward, coming to terms with jeans new 'do.' 

It took Marco a few minutes to shake himself out of his blue screen of death, which he did by blurting out, "Pinks not exactly a punk colour!" And reaching up to tentatively run his hand through jeans bangs.

"Hey man! Pink is the punkest colour around! I'll fight anyone who says otherwise...What, have I managed to turn my eyebrows as well? That happens sometimes when I rush it."Jean babbled as he watched with growing concern as his boyfriends expression went from astonishment to confusion to fear. 

"Marco? What's wrong?" Jean moved to put his hand on Marcos shoulder but before he could he was overcome with a wave of dizziness. 'That's not right,' he stumbled back over to his bench. 'Did I add too much ground fuchsia?' He re-examined the ingredients he had just flung together with increasing difficulty as his hands appeared to be getting increasingly more numb. 'The juniper berries haven't gone off so that oka-' Jean froze as his eyes landed on a small brown glass bottle. He nudged it round with his knuckle, and as the label came into view a cold dread settled over him. Someone had moved his meticulously organised ingredients around. Whether purposefully or accidentally, they had switched bottles which were almost identical in shape and colour, but the difference in ingredients was catastrophic. Jean only had time to turn to look at Marco, who was now leaning against the door frame shaking in fear and garble out, "Armin! Go to Ar-" before he disappeared, and his clothes landed hollowly on the ground.

By the time Marco had regained enough control over his legs to make his way over to the pile of clothes that used to house his boyfriend the first few stars had started to appear in the sky. He knelt down beside the pile and gently placed his hand on it. 

"Jean?... Oh my God...Je-Jean!" 

His laments were quickly cut short as a pink ball of fur rocketed out of jeans jumper and latched onto Marcos shirt, the pain of claws embedding themselves into Marcos chest making him let out an undignified Yelp. A terrified yowling started up as he blindly stumbled to his feet and blundered about the room trying to detach whatever was clinging to him for dear life. With a tug which brought a tear to his eye and several ripping sounds to his ears, Marco pulling what appeared to be an incredibly fluffy pink cat away from his chest. He blinked. The cat meowed pitifully at him. "J-Jean?" Marco stammered as he peered at the cat from arms length away. It stared back at him for a moment and then ever so slowly raised it paw; only to violently facepalm. 

Marco was dumbfounded. His boyfriend had transformed into a very fluffy, very grumpy, and very pink cat.


End file.
